I feel sick.

This is not fun. I'm all sniffly and achey...

...maybe I have that mexican pig flu.

Aren't they beautiful?

Alastair came for dinner at our house last night. I went out to greet him, and he came up the driveway with something behind his back... a big bouquet of beautiful flowers! 

In my whole life, I have been given flowers maybe two or three times.... once by my Dad, and a couple of times by a dear friend. Never by a young man though! 

I think I'm pretty much in love. And it's NOT just the flowers that made me come to that conclusion! In fact, if Alastair gave me a handful of weeds I'd love him just as much.

We prayed together again last night. When he was going, we stood out in the freezing cold 6 degree weather, and prayed... for lots of things - for our relationship, for our families, for our friends, for our witness to those around us. I quietly broke down while praying for my brother, and Alastair took over the rest of my prayer and finished it off for me. 

I don't know what I've done to deserve such a wonderful man. Well, I know that I've done absolutely nothing! But still.... Alastair's love blows me away..... and God's love does even more.

A what?

What on earth is a PUK code? It sounds like something to do with vomiting.

A photo...

Here's a picture Mum took this morning... it's me, talking on the phone to dear Mr. Guess Who. :) I just happened to be still in my pyjamas, pulling the sheets off my bed, and putting away clothes too.

Oopsy!

I have been told that my last post sounds like an engagement announcement... it's not. :P

I don't know what to say!

God has blessed me so much.

I had a bunch of chores to do in the holidays... and I didn't get one of them done! But God gave me a gift that is much more precious than any jobs I had to do...

Imagine: a man wants to spend to the rest of his life.... with me. I still can't really believe it.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie down together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him - a threefold cord is not quickly broken. ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

I love and appreciate so so so many things about Alastair... but the one that comes to mind as I write tonight is his leading in the area of praying together. When he suggests it (as he did three times on Saturday) it just blesses me so much... 

I will be eternally grateful to the Lord... this could NOT have happened by chance.

I love you all! xo

Me???

Well... guess what! I am officially "in a relationship" with Alastair Wilson... we are getting to know each other in order to decide whether it's God's will for us to marry. We both really hope it is! :)

Since you can't all have the pleasure of meeting him in person just yet, I'm even going to be really brave and post a photo. :) I was going to write our story for you to read, but it's way too long, and it doesn't even make complete sense any more. :P So... next time I see you, I'll tell you in person. Promise. :)

Lost for words...

I am learning so many things... I guess the most important thing, is that I'm learning more about how to trust God... completely.

How is it, that one can fall in love, so completely and utterly, in just a week? It don't know how... but I have discovered that it is possible. It is this situation in which I happen to find myself.

I am so totally undeserving... why would this amazing guy pick ME to like - when there are so many other girls all over the place? I can't believe we are so comfortable together, after only a week, and that my parents are so happy with how things are progressing. Right now I want nothing more than to talk to him on the phone... to hear his deep, quiet voice which is so soothing and makes time stand still. To hear him say that he loves the sound of my laugh, when so many others find it annoying. To sit together listening to the rain on the roof..... basking in the knowledge of God's goodness and His gift of love. And so many other things... words don't do it justice.

Some doctrinal differences have come up in the last 24 hours. I found that really hard to deal with, and ended up in tears on the phone last night. As far as I can tell though, they're not what I would term 'salvation' issues. I'm trying to keep a level head and not worry too much... at this point though, I'm a weeny bit terrified that the heaven I've lived in this last week will be taken from me. I have never been loved by a man like this, and it's the most beautiful feeling. I feel like... dare I say... a princess. We have prayed together about these issues, and want to work through them.... it's just such an annoying little thorn in the flesh, when everything is so gorgeous.

I would truly covet your prayers. It's wonderfully exciting to watch all this unfold, and it's very clear to both of us that God has His hands on our lives and our story. This week has been amazing, and I've been up until 2am or 3am most nights... but I'm getting tired now.

God... are you testing me?

Tonight I was going to start my story... but it's long, and I was tired.

Maybe it's just as well.... something has happened... and we really need to work through it before going any further. 

Right this minute, it sucks to be me, and I would certainly covet your prayers.

I'm so happy!

Ask me how to describe this whole beautiful thing 
Well, if I were a bell I'd go ding dong, ding dong ding!

They are the last two lines of a song from the musical Guys and Dolls...

I think I have officially gone crazy.

I promise I'll tell you the whole story soon....... :)

But the greatest of these is... love.

I cannot believe that I am me, Carla, same as I always have been... and that this is really happening to me.....

Wow...

Wow.

That's all I needed to say.

Actually. I'd also like to say that God is so amazing*... He truly does have all the details planned out just right*... and He has a sense of humour* too.

*full story at a later date :)

xoxoxox to all my beautiful friends...

Okay, okay, okay!

... I will share what has made today particularly weird....

I got a message from a guy that I randomly met at the wedding I attended on the weekend... asking me out for dinner... lovely Christian guy... but... wow???

This wouldn't have been the way I'd have planned it..... 

God...???

Hmm...

Something a little weird... strange... exciting... - and all those sorts of words - happened today. Which I can't really talk about at the moment. But if you think of it, please keep me in your prayers. I would certainly covet them.

Just thought you might like to know...

It is a rather unfortunate situation when one knows too much.

Easter 2009

Easter was a little different for me this year... I think I'll tell the story in pictures this time.

On Good Friday, I played for our church service, before taking off with Alicea and Louise for our trip out to Dubbo/Gilgandra for Katherine's wedding. Here we are in the car:

The normally 4.5 - 5 hour trip took us 7 hours... this is why:

The cabin in which we stayed for two nights looked like this inside:

I was blessed to be able to catch up with Jemima and Bede for a few hours! They've just moved to Dubbo, and don't have long until their 2nd baby is born... and they live in a beautiful old house:

Katherine and Joel's wedding was on Saturday. I did Alicea's hair:

Dear old Mr. M. was there too:

It was a beautiful wedding in a beautiful church, and during the signing of the register a quartet sang The Lord Bless You and Keep You from the balcony:

And it rained:

Here's a funny sign we saw in a Gilgandra service station window:

Alicea, Louise and I just before the reception:

The cake... they're both musicians - how awesome is it?!?!

Joel played his ukulele and sang a song he wrote for Katherine as part of his speech - it was so sweet:

FGYO girls:

Me, riding the hippo sculpture outside the venue:

What some girls get up to when they go away... having my hair coloured at midnight:

On our way home, we stopped at a reserve for lunch. My tomboyishness (which I hadn't seen for a while) came out in full force... up a tree:

... and swinging from the rafters of the picnic shelter:

Alicea and I... just so you can see my new brown hair:

And that's it! Today I've had a nice relaxing day... :)

Off I go...

Just to let you know that I'll be away for the weekend... I'm travelling up to Dubbo with two friends for another friend's wedding - the four of us were pretty close in our bygone orchestra days... all had our 21sts within a few weeks of each other and stuff. So I guess it'll be special to see Katherine and Joel get married, and great to spend time with Alicea and Louise too - we rarely get to now, as our lives have taken different courses...

Today was a weird day... I flapped around and shopped for winter pyjamas and an outfit to wear to the wedding this morning - and I only had the hour Meaghan was having her lesson to do so. Oh, and I had to find underwear too... joy of joys - I do not love underwear shopping. :P Why does it all seem to wear out at once... does anybody else's do that?? Anyhow, for the wedding, I found a skirt - the only one in the shop - reduced from $69.95 to $19.95... and it fit me perfectly! PTL! Then I bought a black top, which unbeknownst to me was 30% off - so I got the whole outfit for just over $30. I was very pleased, as I love a good bargain... and it turned out to be the high point of my day. :)

Then I rushed to get all sorts of things done, (mostly orchestra-related)... and drove to Burwood for my lesson. While in the area, I had to pick up some music for camp next week from our conductor, and drop some off so that he could have it couriered back to the place we hired it from. But I forgot my half of the deal. I was SO cross and annoyed with myself. :( Then I had my lesson (which was good), and rushed home to rush through a whole lot of work before Mum and Dad left for bible study... man, I just feel like this term has been a permanent rush. :P After doing the dishes and folding the washing, I practised the piano for tomorrow's service and Sunday night's service, since I'm rostered on to play then... then I rushed to get all my stuff packed to go away for two nights. 

Something else weird happened today too, but I still haven't worked out what I think about it, so I can't talk about it here... it was weird enough to make me cry. :(

So many feelings, thoughts and emotions... I don't want to go away... I don't want to watch yet another friend enter the state of marital bliss while I am left alone... I don't want to watch three particular friends go through the heartache they're going through.... I want it to be Monday already. I just need a big hug.

xx

I'm freeeeeeeeee!

Today, I taught my last lesson for Term 1, 2009 - the 227th one! Wow.

I'm so excited to have two and a half weeks without teaching!

Friday Fun. Saturday Stress... and Smiles!

The last two days have held lots of mixed emotions. I totally thought I was getting better at handling said emotions, but alas! I am not. :P

Yesterday was a little bit stressful in general, but after orchestra three friends came over and we had an absolute ball! We ate beef stroganoff, watched Bend It Like Beckam, and played on (used? I don't know what the proper lingo is!) one of our stand-in brother's Nintendo Wii - it was hilarious! Until Meaghan smashed a glass water bottle off the table and onto the slate. Actually, that was just as hilarious, but then maturity reigned and we cleaned it all up beautifully. Two of our friends went home just after midnight (in the middle of a huge storm!), and the other stayed over... and we stayed up talking til after 2am.....

...which was great, but not such a good idea...

Because this morning at 10am, (or yesterday morning rather, by the time this gets posted), we (Megs, biggest-stand-in-bro, and myself) were playing at a friend's wedding. I won't go into ALL the details... suffice to say, the disorganisation and miscommunication made it a less-than-pleasant experience, and we finished up at 4:30pm, after being there since 9am, feeling cranky, used, and quite sad.

However, after that was all over, things picked up. :) Megs and I went into the city with three friends (a married couple and a girl the same age as me - LOVELY people), to watch our biggest-stand-in-brother do a gig with one of the bands he plays with. It was great! Well... you know. I loved seeing all the boys get into it and look like they were enjoying it, and we met other friends in there and showed our support together and that was really nice. But it was VERY loud. :P That's cool though, I can get over that. :) Afterwards, 15 of us went and had dinner at an Italian restaurant in Leichhardt - they put us out the back at a big long table because there were so many of us! And it was SO nice! It was so relaxed, and we all just chilled out, and got to know new friends and old friends even better... I really enjoyed it - and it was just such a great way to end the day. Then we walked up the street and got gelatos.... I had two flavours: choc-mint and boysenberry....ooooooh! It was so good! And another lovely thing was that I didn't have to drive home. I am feeling blessed tonight - I know so many wonderful people, and I just keep meeting more! One girl I met, Michelle - she is so so SO lovely... I liked her immediately. I've met her briefly a couple of times, but getting to spend quality time with her was great... I think she's a kindred spirit. (She even has blonde moments like me!) :)

And now, I'm SOOO tired! I'm going to duck off to bed - and turn my clock BACK an hour because daylight saving finishes, yay! :) Another big day tomorrow, with church in the morning, and an Easter hymn service all afternoon... but I'm sure it'll be nice. I love being involved with nice people, and that's what tomorrow will be. :)

A wedding rehearsal...

My sister, one of my stand-in brothers and I are playing for a friend's wedding on Saturday morning, and last night, we had the wedding rehearsal. It was long. It was boring. It was extremely disorganised. And I ended up wanting to deck the minister. Thankfully I had two people there who know me very well, who at regular intervals kept telling me not to say anything, and not to do anything. :P It was SO annoying though... we'd been there since just after 6.30pm, and we had our little run-through just us musos, then the girls arrived at 7.30pm and did their walking up the aisle thing a few times (amidst much skipping, dancing and laughing), and THEN, the guys and the minister arrived at 8pm, and they sat around and talked for AGES, so we were just hanging around waiting and waiting (and we were tired and hadn't had any dinner) and then the minister got stroppy with us for fiddling around practising our parts when he was talking. I was really cross. Anyhow, we made it through and got to leave at 9pm... and we made our way down to Subway. It was nice to hang out for a little while and de-stress.

It's been a while!

I just wrote an introduction to this long-overdue post... and then deleted it. 

It really was quite pathetic.

So in an effort to get back on track... in the last nearly-two-weeks since I last updated, some of the things I have done are:

• taught 42 flute lessons to gorgeous girlie individuals... and it wasn't as hard as it used to be! I think I can actually do this... :)
• had an awesome evening with  friends I don't know all that well, but with whom I can completely be myself - and they offered me honorary membership in their family! I particularly love the dad in that family - he is such good value. :)
• attended a friend's engagement party - and felt again the feeling of still being alone when all my friends are getting married.
• paid a phonebill (oh the joys of being a grown-up)
• had too many late nights (more joys of being a grown-up)
• booked overseas flights for myself, my sister, and my two stand-in brothers to go and visit my REAL brother at the end of the year! Countries we plan to visit are: USA, England, France, Switzerland, Austria, Hungary and Egypt. (Am mildly scared about the Egypt bit, but I'm sure it will be okay...) :)
• played in a great concert with the Fisher's Ghost Youth Orchestra... and even managed to play a piccolo solo [mostly] in tune!
• watched the Training Orchestra - at the same concert - play their little hearts out so brilliantly, that my teacher's heart swelled with pride as I clapped and screamed and whooped after every piece they played :)
• ached over a few friends who are going through really rough times... and felt torn as I struggled with wanting to be there for them with a listening ear and an everlasting hug, and needing to let them learn to trust the Lord for themselves.
• played the piano at two church services... and even improvised around a few chords as background music before the service. Huge step for me to actually do that in public...
• ate a whole block of Club Peppermint Chocolate.... and a whole block of Milky Bar... Mmmm.... I will get fat.
• done two weeks worth of filing in two days... and a huge amount of ironing.

Of course, there were lots of other things that have happened and that I've done, but those are the things that come to mind as I glance through my diary. I hope to be more posty from now on! Tonight I am tired, and I'm missing my real brother. I want to talk to him. :( But on Sunday, it will be 8 weeks til he comes home! Yay! :) 

Love you all!